Wednesday, November 12, 2008
traces of you
Your cage, still there with its fresh crisp bedding, worn out wheel and bowl full of kuacis…just without you in it. We still can't bring ourselves to clean and store it.The newly opened pack of bedding I just got for you a month before you left.
The three-quarter-full container of yummy kuacis.
Jacob’s cream crackers.
And in unexpected places…I open my CD album in search of some old songs and see the album of Redang photos, the CD on which Aya had drawn a cartoon version of you.
By force of habit I open your cage to let you out every time I’m at Liang’s apartment till I realised that no furry thing is gonna climb out anymore.
We scrambled to find and keep and treasure the last traces of you.
Photos in our handphones, photos in my laptop, photos in my camera.
One precious video of you cycling (the other one got blitz into oblivion when my laptop crashed).
I guess one thing we’re glad for is that we gave you all our best, in terms of time, effort, love. Amongst all my hamsters, you lived the longest and you made it past the two year mark! (ok that came out weird...) By the time you were two years old, we were already preparing for the day. So it wasn’t such a big surprise, although it doesn’t lessen the pain. You were obviously getting old; less cycling, less climbing around, less hyper. More mellow, soft…more manja also, less of the fierce lansi-ness of your early days, but always a curious creature till the end.
Some things still make my heart catch.
Like, how I stop myself from calling out "Kuaciiiii!!!" every time I walk past your cage.
Like, how we suddenly remember funny things you used to do, and having to stop myself from bringing it up.
Like, how you like to squeeze into the corners of the sofa.
Like, how I wiped you with a soft tissue and you tried to stuff the tissue into your cheeks.
Like, how you struggled to breathe during your last few hours.
Like, how thin you were because you were too weak to eat.
Like, how you took your last breath in Liang's hands.
Like, how I caught Liang staring at your grave in the corner of my garden and though I could only see the back of his head...I knew the look on his face.
…this, will be your closing chapter.
I guess we'll never get over you.
***
On a happier note...
Happy Birthday Justyne...
what up, yo?by CharSiu at 10:46 PM |
2 Comments:
:(
Rest in peace kuaci
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